(long, but hopefully worth the read.)
have you ever had to deliver a retirement speech, years before you retire?
well i had to recently.
a few months back, 2 weeks after my son was born, i had to be gone on a business trip for a week. i gathered with 20+ leaders from the organization i work for, where we reflected for a whole week on what it means to be a “servant leader.” we paralleled it with how we look at leadership in the following categories:
- leader as self
- leader as strategist
- leader as relationship-builder
- leader as driver of results
- leader as teacher
in gist, we reflected on how a servant leader would be most effective in these roles (as mentioned above). it was a life-changing week, to say the least!
in the end, we broke up into smaller groups (consisting of 4 or 5 to a group) and shared our retirement speech. (we were asked to write a retirement speech at the beginning of the week, reflecting on what we want people to say about us at our retirement. then, we wrote it from the perspective of the person we thought might deliver our retirement speech.)
i was a sobbing baby, as were others, when reading this speech. i chose my son, george, who was born 2 weeks before i gave this speech — so you can see why the waterworks were turned on so easily. (btw: for those of you who don’t know me, i have been speaking to groups of people…more specifically church communities, since i was 18; therefore, i have learned how to readily control my emotions when speaking…or so i thought.)
at any rate, this week we gathered with fellow-leaders (80+ leaders) in my organization and were asked, if you wanted to, to share the retirement speeches that each of us wrote. what a moving experience! not only to read my speech before dozens of leaders in my organization, but more importantly, listening to others, whom i’ve worked with over the years (but apparently didn’t know as well as i thought), share their moving retirement speech.
that being said, below is the speech i gave:
Today I am here to honor my father, who is retiring from ____________ after 25 years of service. My dad believed that life was gift. He believed that we must savor each moment, and be present in the moment. My dad believed that at the end of the day, your life is not defined by the cars you drive, the suits you may or may not wear, or even the house you live in.
At the end of the day, my dad believed, life was defined by your contribution to the world around you – by loving others, serving others, and valuing people. My dad once said to me, “George, isn’t it interesting that many people say things like, ‘What if you were to die tomorrow, what would you do differently?’.” He would then say to me, “Maybe a better question is, ‘What if you didn’t die tomorrow, what would you do differently? What if you woke up tomorrow? How would you serve your world?’”
My father once told me that life becomes a fulfilling journey when you walk through it loving the people around you. While many of you came today to honor my father and his contribution to this company and your lives, I believe you are also here because in someway you were touched by the power of love. You see, my father believed 3 things were important in life: God, Love, and forgiveness. God, he felt, was the intertwining of love and family. He also suggested that he didn’t know where God began and love ended…they were interconnected…
My dad loved walks in the park and on the beach, a home cooked meal, ice cream, and his family. He loved what he found congenial and appealing. He loved someone for what he found in him or her. But He felt that God was not like that.
My father believed that it wasn’t because men and women are good that God loves them, nor only good men and women whom God loves. He believed it’s because God is so unspeakably, unimaginably good that He loves men and women, even in their wrong doing. HE believed God was the source of love. God acts; He does not react. He is love without motive. That’s why Augustine could write those incredible lines: “In loving me, he made me lovable.”
My dad also believed it was important to forgive. He found many who were torn a part by hatred, resentment and unforgiveness. He always told me, “Don’t ever allow the hatred of another to detour you onto the road of unforgiveness…even if you are right in holding a grudge…it is still your responsibility to forgive.” “Remember son,” he would say, “people do what they do because of who they are, not because of who you are.”
In fact, my dad likened unforgiveness as unto a prison. “A prison of resentment,” he would call it. In fact, one of his favorite quotes was from a philosopher and thinker by the name of Fredrick Buechner, who said, “Of all the deadly sins, resentment appears to be the most fun. To lick your wounds and savor the pain you will give back is in many ways a feast fit for a king. But then it turns out that what you are eating at the banquet of bitterness is your own heart. The skeleton at the feast is you. You start out holding a grudge, but in the end the grudge holds you.
He believed we had a choice. When we forgive, we set others free from the little prison we have placed in our mind for holding others captive. We must choose. Vengeance or mercy. Prison or freedom. Hatred or grace. He would say to me, “Son, choose wisely.” My dad believed that life was a gift. He believed that he was on purpose. That he had significance. That he mattered in life.
There is an ancient Hasidic saying that I believed encapsulates the picture in which my dad held in his mind. The Hasidic saying actually suggested that everyone was commanded to wear a coat with two pockets to receive messages from God. In one pocket it is written, “You are nothing but one of millions upon millions of grains of sand in the universe.” In the other pocket it says, “I made the universe just for you.” You see, that is the picture my dad held in his mind when he worked with others. He believed each life was unique and they have something to contribute.
Let me close with this last story. When I was born, my dad tells me that my mom and him went to Ikea and purchased a cabinet to put my clothes in. My dad says that when he got home and opened up the box – spreading all the various parts (screws, bolts, nails, plugs, and various other apparatuses) along the floor – he realized he was in way over his head. Then he began to read the directions, which he said at the top there were the three worst words ever written in the existence of man. Those three words were: SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED.
HE believed those three words struck fear into dads all around the world – even to this day. As he finished putting the closet together, he found that he had several pieces left (3 screws, 4 nails, three washers and an acrylic piece that said ‘important’ on it). He had a bunch of spare parts left over!
When he would tell that story to me…it felt like I was there…
As funny as that story is to me, even to this day, what he said next still echoes in my heart. He would then say, “Son, may you never forget.” Then he would say, “Look me in the eye.” “Son, may you never forget that you are not a spare part. The people you come in contact with at work every day are not spare parts.” “You have a purpose and a destiny!” You see. I believe my dad would want me to look all of you who he cared so much about in the eye, and say to you today, “You are on purpose. You have significance. You matter. You are not a spare part.”
