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Ben Arment had a plug for a recent blog launch of one of his creative buddies, Barton Damer.

I am certain that his blog will be a daily must read!

Check out Already Been Chewed…like, right now!

“The core values we choose might be a competitive advantage, but that is not why we have them.  We have them because they define for us what we stand for, and we would hold them if they became a competitive disadvantage.” — Ralph Larson, CEO of Johnson & Johnson

What do you stand for?

Who are you at your core?

Are your values established in your own heart and mind, that despite the circumstances of life, you live them out?  If not, why?

I realize that company’s around the world have values written up on the wall for the employees to follow and adhere to…and rightfully so!  But the greater question is beyond what an organization believes, and lies in our hearts.  What are YOUR core values?

What do you stand for?

At the end of the day, when company’s come and go…organizations rise and fall…how do you define yourself, your values?  Fundamentally our values are intrinsically what will drive or derail our success in life.  Will we choose to live by them when it is easy, or…or…will we falter when they are challenged and looked down upon?

Here is what I value:

• My relationship with my Creator, God
• My family
• Leadership
• Loyalty
• Excellence
• Empathy
• Integrity

So, what do you stand for?  Who are you at your core?

I would challenge you this week to identify and determine your values, by answering these three questions:

1. Where do you find your sense of identity?
2. How do you define your destiny?
3. What guides you in your decision making process (ie: how do you consider what is right or wrong)?

What are your core values?

Peter Drucker, the father of “modern management,”  had some great questions he asked, when assessing one’s own organization.  In fact, recently a book was launched called The Five Most Important Questions You Will Ever Ask About Your Organization.   Peter Drucker tackles 5 essential questions when discovering what is at the heart of an organization, and at its core, what drives them to be better?

From the help of modern day thought leaders (like Jim Collins and Jim Kouzes), the book takes a look at the following questions:

1. What is our Mission?
2. What is our Customer?
3. What does the Customer Value?
4. What are our Results?
5. What is our Plan?

In gist, the questions should lead an organization and individual to action!

You can go here to purchase the book…or here.

There is a Mismatch Problem.

At least, that is what Malcolm Gladwell believes.  Whether it be in standardized testing for school teachers, sports athletics, or even hiring the “right” employee. Gladwell suggests that we are using antiqued tools/tests to determine whether or not the athlete, teacher or employee will be successful in their interested position.

So the question becomes, are we hiring people or recruiting people based on a narrow set of variables, or is finding the”right” person more complex?

Go and check out the video about the Mismatch Problem.

I know the business world has certain buzz words and phrases that come and go.  A word that I have clung to over the years, that has helped me, but also has been my demise when I don’t use it, is the word “empathy.”  I believe when a leader looks to his tool belt of effective tools, he must have empathy.

A leader is at his or her best when they are empathetically listening.

But…

If we are honest with ourselves, sometimes being an empathetic listener can be downright boring!  Why?  Because sometimes we are more interested in getting our points across, rather than truly emotionally connecting to the speaker.  I would suggest that one has to be intentional about listening to what is being said, rather than what you “think” is being said.  Of course, this doesn’t just apply to your leader/manager.  This applies across the board: friendships, kids, neighbors, etc…  

So the question for you is, are you an empathetic listener?  Or…are you more tethered to tuning people out when they are trying to communicate their feelings or point of view?  Better yet, are you formulating your retaliation or response, while the person is trying to talk with you?

I love what Stephen Covey says in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.  He says, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”  

What would your conversations look like if you sought to “understand” rather than fervently trying to be “understood?”

One of my favorite thoughts when dealing with leaders, in regard to communicating the importance of empathy, is the following saying:  “You don’t understand your people, when you say you understand your people.  You understand your people, when your people understand that you understand.”

So…are you listening with the intent to reply?

Or…

Are you allowing transactional opportunities to be turned into transformational opportunities?

Imagine what your marriage would look like if you chose to hang up the cloak of “zoning” out and choose to empathetically listen.

Imagine how your friendships would be impacted…

Imagine how your kids would feel…

Imagine the level of commitment you would get from the one who you are diaologing with, when they know you are truly trying to understand.

Try it on for size this week…

Today is my son’s 1st Birthday!

Son, may you never forget that you are loved by many, but more importantly, a friend of God.  As you grow older, may you allow the lessons from your parents, family members, mentors, the ancient text, and many more to be a guiding light.  My prayer for you son is that you abound in love, knowledge, wisdom, and many more characteristics, as you grow into manhood one day.

Son, may you be an effective communicator…

courageous leader…

patient listener…

lover of people, no matter their economic status or place in the world…

and above all…

no matter your path (success, challenges or failures), you are loved.

Today I went to get my yearly eye exam.

As I waited to be seen at the eye doctor, I took the opportunity to walk around and look at the various frames I could purchase, after the exam.  I sat down after picking out the frames and noticed a TIME magazine which had Nelson Mandela on the cover.  There was an article inside which freely shared Mandela’s favorite leadership lessons.

Here is what he said:

1.  Courage is not the absence of fear — it’s inspiring others to move beyond it

2.  Lead from the front– but don’t leave your base behind

3.  Lead from the back — and let others believe they are in front

4.  Know your enemy — and learn about his favorite sport

5.  Keep your friends close — and your rivals even closer

6.  Appearances matter — and remember to smile

7.  Nothing is black or white

8.  Quitting is leading too

I sat reflecting on the lessons that were captured in the article.  The one lesson that resonated with me the most was the first one: Courage is not the absence of fear.  The article described a story where Mandela faced a potential life or death situation.  Others articulated, after the incident, that Mandela kept his poise…while everyone else was afraid for their life, Mandela’s disposition and demeanor wasn’t shaken.  Courage oozed from him.

He later suggested that during the event, he was “terrified”, just like everyone else.  BUT he never exhibited fear to others.  WHY?  Becuase he knew others were watching him.  He knew as a leader it was paramount that he kept a confident appearnace.  His team was watching his every move.

As I read that part of the article, I sat thinking of my own leadership.

Am I calm?

Am I courageous in the midst of what would be considered a “terrifying” moment?

Sometimes we have to put on the lenses of leadership to frame the situation up and remind ourselves that others may be watching.  There may be others that are looking for my cue of courage, trying to find a sense of calmness in the midst of a terrifying moment.

Are you putting on the lenses of leadership as a…

parent…

boss…

husband…

wife…

or friend?